Double Empathy Problem: What It Means For A Successful Team

It’s ADHD Awareness Month, so let’s explore a concept that often comes up in team dynamics—the Double Empathy Problem. This idea highlights that both neurodivergent people (like those with ADHD) and neurotypical folks often struggle to understand each other. It’s not one-sided; both groups can miss the mark when it comes to fully grasping the other’s experience, especially at work.

Let’s break it down:

Imagine you’re in a meeting, and your neurotypical colleagues are moving swiftly through the agenda, keeping everything organized. Meanwhile, your brain is buzzing with ideas in all directions, and staying focused feels like running uphill. Your coworkers may wonder why you’re having a hard time, and you might be thinking, Why is this so easy for them? This is a prime example of the Double Empathy Problem in action—both sides struggle to understand the other’s way of thinking.

If you have ADHD, you’ve likely been adapting to this dynamic for a long time. You’ve learned to overcompensate, mask your challenges, or adjust your work style to fit the neurotypical mold. These survival strategies can be powerful, but they’re also exhausting. The truth is, you’ve probably been making accommodations for your team without even realizing it—finding ways to stay on top of tasks, communicate effectively, or adapt to fast-paced environments that don’t come naturally to you.

But here’s something to consider:

while you’ve been adjusting, your coworkers might also be making accommodations for you—they might adjust deadlines, communicate differently, or even give you more flexibility. However, these efforts might not always align with what you actually need to thrive. That’s where communication becomes key.

It’s important to make your coworkers aware of the ways you’ve already been accommodating the differences in your work styles. Let them know the extra steps you take to adapt—like how you structure your day or manage tasks to keep up. Sharing this insight can help them understand that the accommodations go both ways, and it opens the door for better collaboration. You might say, “I’ve been doing X to make sure I stay on track, but it would be really helpful if we could do Y to make this process work even better for everyone.”

The solution to bridging this gap lies in finding balance.

Accommodations shouldn’t be a one-sided effort. Instead, it’s about meeting in the middle—finding small adjustments on both sides that lead to a more effective and harmonious work environment. You don’t have to disclose your ADHD diagnosis to the entire team if you’re not comfortable. Focus on what helps you work best: clearer deadlines, structured feedback, or a different approach to communication. These conversations can be framed around what makes you most productive, without diving into personal details.

At the end of the day, success comes from both sides working together. The Double Empathy Problem isn’t solved by just one person adapting—it’s about creating a space where neurodivergent and neurotypical people understand each other’s needs and make thoughtful, effective accommodations.

So, during ADHD Awareness Month, let’s focus on open communication and collaboration. It’s not about bending over backward, but about building a team where everyone—no matter how their brain works—can thrive.